struggles

i have truly struggled coming back to my life here in las vegas. i need to apologize to anyone who has had to be around me since monday, especially my family. it is hard to get over your edginess when you really don't understand what is causing it!! i have been pondering and i think it all started when we left cedar city on our way home sunday. i had told kristen at lunch that if lauren was awake come st. george, i wanted to stop in bloomington and get some of my very favorite connie's crunch gourmet popcorn. (if you haven't tasted this stuff - it is to die for!) anyway, by the time i reached bloomington, i was feeling so much road rage from having to pass slower drivers along the two lane freeway, that there was no way i was going to pull off the road and chance getting behind them all again. i could feel my blood pressure rising, and even though i kept telling myself that i wasn't in any hurry; i was in my hurry, hurry, i'm an hour late mode already! i need to learn how to slow down. mind you, i can have my off days, and even off several days, if i'm reading a good book, or if i just don't feel like doing what needs to be done, but most of the time i feel like i'm going a hundred miles an hour and i really need to stay up all night to try to catch up on what i am so far behind on. how can i relax, enjoy the journey more, and be satisfied with a good days work, eventhough i never finish the things i think i need to? oh well, as you can see i have a lot of work to do to find my happy balance in life.

p.s. - my sadness may be partly due to the fact that i am leaving friday to take sadie to college, and when i come home on tuesday she won't be in the car with me. i really can't think about it, it makes me cry!

p.s.s. - since kristen didn't get a very pretty picture on my ranch post, i have decided to be kind and put this cute picture up now for her:)